Arjuna's Despair

धृतराष्ट्र उवाचधर्मक्षेत्रे कुरुक्षेत्रे समवेता युयुत्सवः ।मामकाः पाण्डवाश्चैव किमकुर्वत सञ्जय ॥

dhṛtarāṣṭra uvācadharmakṣetre kurukṣetre samavetā yuyutsavaḥ |māmakāḥ pāṇḍavāścaiva kimakurvata sañjaya ||

Dhritarashtra said: Sanjaya, on the field of dharma, the field of the Kurus, my sons and the sons of Pandu gathered, eager to fight. What did they do?

सञ्जय उवाचदृष्ट्वा तु पाण्डवानीकं व्यूढं दुर्योधनस्तदा ।आचार्यमुपसङ्गम्य राजा वचनमब्रवीत् ॥

sañjaya uvācadṛṣṭvā tu pāṇḍavānīkaṃ vyūḍhaṃ duryodhanastadā |ācāryamupasaṅgamya rājā vacanamabravīt ||

Sanjaya said: When King Duryodhana saw the Pandava army drawn up for battle, he went to his teacher Drona and said:

पश्यैतां पाण्डुपुत्राणामाचार्य महतीं चमूम् ।व्यूढां द्रुपदपुत्रेण तव शिष्येण धीमता ॥

paśyaitāṃ pāṇḍuputrāṇāmācārya mahatīṃ camūm |vyūḍhāṃ drupadaputreṇa tava śiṣyeṇa dhīmatā ||

"Teacher, look at this great army of the sons of Pandu, arranged by your own gifted student, the son of Drupada.

अत्र शूरा महेष्वासा भीमार्जुनसमा युधि ।युयुधानो विराटश्च द्रुपदश्च महारथः ॥

atra śūrā maheṣvāsā bhīmārjunasamā yudhi |yuyudhāno virāṭaśca drupadaśca mahārathaḥ ||

Here are heroes and great archers, equal in battle to Bhima and Arjuna: Yuyudhana, Virata, and Drupada, the great chariot-warrior;

धृष्टकेतुश्चेकितानः काशिराजश्च वीर्यवान् ।पुरुजित्कुन्तिभोजश्च शैब्यश्च नरपुङ्गवः ॥

dhṛṣṭaketuścekitānaḥ kāśirājaśca vīryavān |purujitkuntibhojaśca śaibyaśca narapuṅgavaḥ ||

Dhrishtaketu, Chekitana, and the brave king of Kashi; Purujit, Kuntibhoja, and Shaibya, a leader among men;

युधामन्युश्च विक्रान्त उत्तमौजाश्च वीर्यवान् ।सौभद्रो द्रौपदेयाश्च सर्व एव महारथाः ॥

yudhāmanyuśca vikrānta uttamaujāśca vīryavān |saubhadro draupadeyāśca sarva eva mahārathāḥ ||

bold Yudhamanyu and mighty Uttamaujas; the son of Subhadra and the sons of Draupadi — all of them great chariot-warriors.

अस्माकं तु विशिष्टा ये तान्निबोध द्विजोत्तम ।नायका मम सैन्यस्य संज्ञार्थं तान्ब्रवीमि ते ॥

asmākaṃ tu viśiṣṭā ye tānnibodha dvijottama |nāyakā mama sainyasya saṃjñārthaṃ tānbravīmi te ||

Now hear, best of the twice-born, the leaders of our own side, the commanders of my army. I name them for you:

भवान्भीष्मश्च कर्णश्च कृपश्च समितिञ्जयः ।अश्वत्थामा विकर्णश्च सौमदत्तिस्तथैव च ॥

bhavānbhīṣmaśca karṇaśca kṛpaśca samitiñjayaḥ |aśvatthāmā vikarṇaśca saumadattistathaiva ca ||

You yourself, Bhishma, Karna, and Kripa, always victorious; Ashvatthama, Vikarna, and the son of Somadatta;

अन्ये च बहवः शूरा मदर्थे त्यक्तजीविताः ।नानाशस्त्रप्रहरणाः सर्वे युद्धविशारदाः ॥

anye ca bahavaḥ śūrā madarthe tyaktajīvitāḥ |nānāśastrapraharaṇāḥ sarve yuddhaviśāradāḥ ||

and many other heroes ready to give their lives for me, armed with many weapons, all skilled in war.

अपर्याप्तं तदस्माकं बलं भीष्माभिरक्षितम् ।पर्याप्तं त्विदमेतेषां बलं भीमाभिरक्षितम् ॥

aparyāptaṃ tadasmākaṃ balaṃ bhīṣmābhirakṣitam |paryāptaṃ tvidameteṣāṃ balaṃ bhīmābhirakṣitam ||

Our strength, guarded by Bhishma, is beyond measure; their strength, guarded by Bhima, is limited.

अयनेषु च सर्वेषु यथाभागमवस्थिताः ।भीष्ममेवाभिरक्षन्तु भवन्तः सर्व एव हि ॥

ayaneṣu ca sarveṣu yathābhāgamavasthitāḥ |bhīṣmamevābhirakṣantu bhavantaḥ sarva eva hi ||

So all of you, holding your places at every point of the formation, protect Bhishma above all."

तस्य संजनयन्हर्षं कुरुवृद्धः पितामहः ।सिंहनादं विनद्योच्चैः शङ्खं दध्मौ प्रतापवान् ॥

tasya saṃjanayanharṣaṃ kuruvṛddhaḥ pitāmahaḥ |siṃhanādaṃ vinadyoccaiḥ śaṅkhaṃ dadhmau pratāpavān ||

Then, to cheer Duryodhana, the old grandsire Bhishma, eldest of the Kurus, roared like a lion and blew his conch.

ततः शङ्खाश्च भेर्यश्च पणवानकगोमुखाः ।सहसैवाभ्यहन्यन्त स शब्दस्तुमुलोऽभवत् ॥

tataḥ śaṅkhāśca bheryaśca paṇavānakagomukhāḥ |sahasaivābhyahanyanta sa śabdastumulo'bhavat ||

At once conches, kettledrums, cymbals, drums, and horns sounded together, and the noise was enormous.

ततः श्वेतैर्हयैर्युक्ते महति स्यन्दने स्थितौ ।माधवः पाण्डवश्चैव दिव्यौ शङ्खौ प्रदध्मतुः ॥

tataḥ śvetairhayairyukte mahati syandane sthitau |mādhavaḥ pāṇḍavaścaiva divyau śaṅkhau pradadhmatuḥ ||

Then, standing in a great chariot yoked to white horses, Krishna and Arjuna blew their divine conches.

पाञ्चजन्यं हृषीकेशो देवदत्तं धनंजयः ।पौण्ड्रं दध्मौ महाशङ्खं भीमकर्मा वृकोदरः ॥

pāñcajanyaṃ hṛṣīkeśo devadattaṃ dhanaṃjayaḥ |pauṇḍraṃ dadhmau mahāśaṅkhaṃ bhīmakarmā vṛkodaraḥ ||

Krishna blew Panchajanya, Arjuna blew Devadatta, and Bhima, the doer of fearsome deeds, blew the great conch Paundra.

अनन्तविजयं राजा कुन्तीपुत्रो युधिष्ठिरः ।नकुलः सहदेवश्च सुघोषमणिपुष्पकौ ॥

anantavijayaṃ rājā kuntīputro yudhiṣṭhiraḥ |nakulaḥ sahadevaśca sughoṣamaṇipuṣpakau ||

King Yudhishthira, son of Kunti, blew Anantavijaya; Nakula and Sahadeva blew Sughosha and Manipushpaka.

काश्यश्च परमेष्वासः शिखण्डी च महारथः ।धृष्टद्युम्नो विराटश्च सात्यकिश्चापराजितः ॥

kāśyaśca parameṣvāsaḥ śikhaṇḍī ca mahārathaḥ |dhṛṣṭadyumno virāṭaśca sātyakiścāparājitaḥ ||

The king of Kashi, a great archer, Shikhandi the great chariot-warrior, Dhrishtadyumna, Virata, and the unconquered Satyaki;

द्रुपदो द्रौपदेयाश्च सर्वशः पृथिवीपते ।सौभद्रश्च महाबाहुः शङ्खान्दध्मुः पृथक्पृथक् ॥

drupado draupadeyāśca sarvaśaḥ pṛthivīpate |saubhadraśca mahābāhuḥ śaṅkhāndadhmuḥ pṛthakpṛthak ||

Drupada, the sons of Draupadi, and the strong-armed son of Subhadra — each, O lord of the earth, blew his own conch.

स घोषो धार्तराष्ट्राणां हृदयानि व्यदारयत् ।नभश्च पृथिवीं चैव तुमुलो व्यनुनादयन् ॥

sa ghoṣo dhārtarāṣṭrāṇāṃ hṛdayāni vyadārayat |nabhaśca pṛthivīṃ caiva tumulo vyanunādayan ||

That uproar tore at the hearts of Dhritarashtra's sons, and it echoed through sky and earth.

अथ व्यवस्थितान् दृष्ट्वा धार्तराष्ट्रान्कपिध्वजः ।प्रवृत्ते शस्त्रसंपाते धनुरुद्यम्य पाण्डवः ॥

atha vyavasthitān dṛṣṭvā dhārtarāṣṭrānkapidhvajaḥ |pravṛtte śastrasaṃpāte dhanurudyamya pāṇḍavaḥ ||

Then Arjuna, whose banner bears the monkey, saw Dhritarashtra's men lined up. As weapons were about to clash, he raised his bow

अर्जुन उवाचहृषीकेशं तदा वाक्यमिदमाह महीपते ।सेनयोरुभयोर्मध्ये रथं स्थापय मेऽच्युत ॥

arjuna uvācahṛṣīkeśaṃ tadā vākyamidamāha mahīpate |senayorubhayormadhye rathaṃ sthāpaya me'cyuta ||

and said to Krishna: "Achyuta, place my chariot between the two armies,

यावदेतान्निरीक्षेऽहं योद्धुकामानवस्थितान् ।कैर्मया सह योद्धव्यमस्मिन्रणसमुद्यमे ॥

yāvadetānnirīkṣe'haṃ yoddhukāmānavasthitān |kairmayā saha yoddhavyamasminraṇasamudyame ||

so that I can look at those standing here eager to fight, and see whom I must battle in this struggle.

योत्स्यमानानवेक्षेऽहं य एतेऽत्र समागताः ।धार्तराष्ट्रस्य दुर्बुद्धेर्युद्धे प्रियचिकीर्षवः ॥

yotsyamānānavekṣe'haṃ ya ete'tra samāgatāḥ |dhārtarāṣṭrasya durbuddheryuddhe priyacikīrṣavaḥ ||

I want to see those who have gathered here to fight, wanting to please the wicked-minded son of Dhritarashtra."

संजय उवाचएवमुक्तो हृषीकेशो गुडाकेशेन भारत ।सेनयोरुभयोर्मध्ये स्थापयित्वा रथोत्तमम् ॥

saṃjaya uvācaevamukto hṛṣīkeśo guḍākeśena bhārata |senayorubhayormadhye sthāpayitvā rathottamam ||

Sanjaya said: Asked this by Arjuna, Krishna drove the splendid chariot between the two armies,

भीष्मद्रोणप्रमुखतः सर्वेषां च महीक्षिताम् ।उवाच पार्थ पश्यैतान्समवेतान्कुरूनिति ॥

bhīṣmadroṇapramukhataḥ sarveṣāṃ ca mahīkṣitām |uvāca pārtha paśyaitānsamavetānkurūniti ||

in front of Bhishma, Drona, and all the rulers of the earth, and said: "Arjuna, look at these Kurus gathered here."

तत्रापश्यत्स्थितान्पार्थः पितृ़नथ पितामहान् ।आचार्यान्मातुलान्भ्रातृ़न्पुत्रान्पौत्रान्सखींस्तथा ॥

tatrāpaśyatsthitānpārthaḥ pitṛ़natha pitāmahān |ācāryānmātulānbhrātṛ़nputrānpautrānsakhīṃstathā ||

There Arjuna saw, standing in both armies, fathers and grandfathers, teachers, uncles, brothers, sons, grandsons, and friends,

श्वशुरान्सुहृदश्चैव सेनयोरुभयोरपि ।तान्समीक्ष्य स कौन्तेयः सर्वान्बन्धूनवस्थितान् ॥

śvaśurānsuhṛdaścaiva senayorubhayorapi |tānsamīkṣya sa kaunteyaḥ sarvānbandhūnavasthitān ||

fathers-in-law and companions. Seeing all these relatives arrayed, the son of Kunti

अर्जुन उवाचकृपया परयाऽऽविष्टो विषीदन्निदमब्रवीत् ।दृष्ट्वेमं स्वजनं कृष्ण युयुत्सुं समुपस्थितम् ॥

arjuna uvācakṛpayā parayā''viṣṭo viṣīdannidamabravīt |dṛṣṭvemaṃ svajanaṃ kṛṣṇa yuyutsuṃ samupasthitam ||

was overcome with deep pity, and said in sorrow: "Krishna, seeing my own people here, eager to fight,

सीदन्ति मम गात्राणि मुखं च परिशुष्यति ।वेपथुश्च शरीरे मे रोमहर्षश्च जायते ॥

sīdanti mama gātrāṇi mukhaṃ ca pariśuṣyati |vepathuśca śarīre me romaharṣaśca jāyate ||

my limbs give way, my mouth is dry, my body trembles, and my hair stands on end.

गाण्डीवं स्रंसते हस्तात्त्वक्चैव परिदह्यते ।न च शक्नोम्यवस्थातुं भ्रमतीव च मे मनः ॥

gāṇḍīvaṃ sraṃsate hastāttvakcaiva paridahyate |na ca śaknomyavasthātuṃ bhramatīva ca me manaḥ ||

My bow Gandiva slips from my hand, my skin burns, I cannot stand steady, and my mind is reeling.

निमित्तानि च पश्यामि विपरीतानि केशव ।न च श्रेयोऽनुपश्यामि हत्वा स्वजनमाहवे ॥

nimittāni ca paśyāmi viparītāni keśava |na ca śreyo'nupaśyāmi hatvā svajanamāhave ||

I see bad omens, Krishna. I can see no good in killing my own people in battle.

न काङ्क्षे विजयं कृष्ण न च राज्यं सुखानि च ।किं नो राज्येन गोविन्द किं भोगैर्जीवितेन वा ॥

na kāṅkṣe vijayaṃ kṛṣṇa na ca rājyaṃ sukhāni ca |kiṃ no rājyena govinda kiṃ bhogairjīvitena vā ||

I do not want victory, Krishna, or a kingdom, or pleasures. What use is a kingdom to us, Govinda, or enjoyment, or even life,

येषामर्थे काङ्क्षितं नो राज्यं भोगाः सुखानि च ।त इमेऽवस्थिता युद्धे प्राणांस्त्यक्त्वा धनानि च ॥

yeṣāmarthe kāṅkṣitaṃ no rājyaṃ bhogāḥ sukhāni ca |ta ime'vasthitā yuddhe prāṇāṃstyaktvā dhanāni ca ||

when the very people for whose sake we want kingdom, enjoyment, and pleasure stand here in battle, ready to give up their lives and wealth?

आचार्याः पितरः पुत्रास्तथैव च पितामहाः ।मातुलाः श्चशुराः पौत्राः श्यालाः सम्बन्धिनस्तथा ॥

ācāryāḥ pitaraḥ putrāstathaiva ca pitāmahāḥ |mātulāḥ ścaśurāḥ pautrāḥ śyālāḥ sambandhinastathā ||

Teachers, fathers, sons, and grandfathers; uncles, fathers-in-law, grandsons, brothers-in-law, and other relatives —

एतान्न हन्तुमिच्छामि घ्नतोऽपि मधुसूदन ।अपि त्रैलोक्यराज्यस्य हेतोः किं नु महीकृते ॥

etānna hantumicchāmi ghnato'pi madhusūdana |api trailokyarājyasya hetoḥ kiṃ nu mahīkṛte ||

I do not want to kill them, Krishna, even if they kill me — not for rule over the three worlds, let alone for this earth.

निहत्य धार्तराष्ट्रान्नः का प्रीतिः स्याज्जनार्दन ।पापमेवाश्रयेदस्मान्हत्वैतानाततायिनः ॥

nihatya dhārtarāṣṭrānnaḥ kā prītiḥ syājjanārdana |pāpamevāśrayedasmānhatvaitānātatāyinaḥ ||

What joy could we have from killing Dhritarashtra's sons? Only wrong would cling to us if we killed these aggressors.

तस्मान्नार्हा वयं हन्तुं धार्तराष्ट्रान्स्वबान्धवान् ।स्वजनं हि कथं हत्वा सुखिनः स्याम माधव ॥

tasmānnārhā vayaṃ hantuṃ dhārtarāṣṭrānsvabāndhavān |svajanaṃ hi kathaṃ hatvā sukhinaḥ syāma mādhava ||

So it is not right for us to kill our own kin, the sons of Dhritarashtra. How could we be happy, Krishna, after killing our own people?

यद्यप्येते न पश्यन्ति लोभोपहतचेतसः ।कुलक्षयकृतं दोषं मित्रद्रोहे च पातकम् ॥

yadyapyete na paśyanti lobhopahatacetasaḥ |kulakṣayakṛtaṃ doṣaṃ mitradrohe ca pātakam ||

Even if they, their minds overcome by greed, see no wrong in destroying a family and no crime in betraying friends,

कथं न ज्ञेयमस्माभिः पापादस्मान्निवर्तितुम् ।कुलक्षयकृतं दोषं प्रपश्यद्भिर्जनार्दन ॥

kathaṃ na jñeyamasmābhiḥ pāpādasmānnivartitum |kulakṣayakṛtaṃ doṣaṃ prapaśyadbhirjanārdana ||

why should we, who do see the evil in destroying a family, not know to turn away from this wrong?

कुलक्षये प्रणश्यन्ति कुलधर्माः सनातनाः ।धर्मे नष्टे कुलं कृत्स्नमधर्मोऽभिभवत्युत ॥

kulakṣaye praṇaśyanti kuladharmāḥ sanātanāḥ |dharme naṣṭe kulaṃ kṛtsnamadharmo'bhibhavatyuta ||

When a family is destroyed, its ancient traditions perish. When tradition perishes, lawlessness overtakes the whole family.

अधर्माभिभवात्कृष्ण प्रदुष्यन्ति कुलस्त्रियः ।स्त्रीषु दुष्टासु वार्ष्णेय जायते वर्णसङ्करः ॥

adharmābhibhavātkṛṣṇa praduṣyanti kulastriyaḥ |strīṣu duṣṭāsu vārṣṇeya jāyate varṇasaṅkaraḥ ||

When lawlessness prevails, Krishna, the women of the family are corrupted, and from that comes confusion of the social order.

सङ्करो नरकायैव कुलघ्नानां कुलस्य च ।पतन्ति पितरो ह्येषां लुप्तपिण्डोदकक्रियाः ॥

saṅkaro narakāyaiva kulaghnānāṃ kulasya ca |patanti pitaro hyeṣāṃ luptapiṇḍodakakriyāḥ ||

That confusion drags both the family and its destroyers to hell, and their ancestors fall, deprived of the offerings of food and water.

दोषैरेतैः कुलघ्नानां वर्णसङ्करकारकैः ।उत्साद्यन्ते जातिधर्माः कुलधर्माश्च शाश्वताः ॥

doṣairetaiḥ kulaghnānāṃ varṇasaṅkarakārakaiḥ |utsādyante jātidharmāḥ kuladharmāśca śāśvatāḥ ||

By these wrongs of the family-destroyers, which cause confusion of the social order, the lasting duties of caste and family are destroyed.

उत्सन्नकुलधर्माणां मनुष्याणां जनार्दन ।नरकेऽनियतं वासो भवतीत्यनुशुश्रुम ॥

utsannakuladharmāṇāṃ manuṣyāṇāṃ janārdana |narake'niyataṃ vāso bhavatītyanuśuśruma ||

And we have heard, Krishna, that people whose family duties are destroyed live in hell indefinitely.

अहो बत महत्पापं कर्तुं व्यवसिता वयम् ।यद्राज्यसुखलोभेन हन्तुं स्वजनमुद्यताः ॥

aho bata mahatpāpaṃ kartuṃ vyavasitā vayam |yadrājyasukhalobhena hantuṃ svajanamudyatāḥ ||

Alas, we are set on committing a great wrong — ready to kill our own people out of greed for the pleasures of a kingdom.

यदि मामप्रतीकारमशस्त्रं शस्त्रपाणयः ।धार्तराष्ट्रा रणे हन्युस्तन्मे क्षेमतरं भवेत् ॥

yadi māmapratīkāramaśastraṃ śastrapāṇayaḥ |dhārtarāṣṭrā raṇe hanyustanme kṣemataraṃ bhavet ||

It would be better for me if the sons of Dhritarashtra, weapons in hand, killed me in battle unresisting and unarmed."

सञ्जय उवाचएवमुक्त्वाऽर्जुनः संख्ये रथोपस्थ उपाविशत् ।विसृज्य सशरं चापं शोकसंविग्नमानसः ॥

sañjaya uvācaevamuktvā'rjunaḥ saṃkhye rathopastha upāviśat |visṛjya saśaraṃ cāpaṃ śokasaṃvignamānasaḥ ||

Sanjaya said: Having spoken this on the battlefield, Arjuna sank down on the seat of his chariot, letting fall his bow and arrows, his mind overwhelmed with grief.